The feedback I gained was very helpful. One person mentioned
that I should try to include some numbers within my elevator pitch so that the problem
was quantifiable. I also was told that I should try to incorporate how much
money the product would cost to be implemented into the elevator pitch. I
received feedback that my elevator pitch was well-scripted and that I was
prepared. Though I do believe that my first elevator pitch was prepared well
and flowed nicely, I still saw a lot more room for improvement as there were a
couple of words that I stumbled over and a couple times in which I said “um” as
I lost my place.
What did you change,
based on feedback?
Based on the feedback I received, I added quantities into my
elevator pitch to capture the issue of searching for a parking spot. In
addition, I practiced a lot more in what I was going to say so that I could be
even more prepared and so that I did not stumble over as many words. In
addition, I ensured that my confidence was portrayed greatly within my second
elevator pitch.
Dear Haley,
ReplyDeleteGreat pitch! It was a cleanly done pitch. You can always SELL the product more-show me that you love your product! Something that could be improved on is the volume. It seems like you are afraid to be loud. Maybe you are restricted and afraid to be loud because of roommates or family members. Additionally, an idea that might help the presentation is to put the camera a little higher so that the camera is the same height as where your eyes are. This way your viewers feel like they are looking at you on an equal playing field and not looking up to you, equalizing the relationship. Great post!!
Hi Haley, I think you incorporated your feedback very well into your new elevator pitch. Strong statistical and quantifiable data in an elevator pitch adds a lot of strength and validity to an argument. My only critique would to be a little bit more energetic in your delivery but you may have been recording in an area that didn't allow you to be super loud, which is ok. Other than that, I think it was great!
ReplyDeleteI really agree with your service idea and became instantly interested due to your elevator pitch. You have really good ideas and present your ideas very logically and very clearly. I believe that you could try change the format of the pitch so you don't have to repeat phrases such as additionally as it does not flow like a normal conversation. Besides that great idea with a good presentation.
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