In
this past semester, I actually had a terrible (or maybe amazing?) experience
with failure. As an eighteen-year-old in my first semester at the University of
Florida, naturally I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life so I was in a
wide variety of courses, including business, engineering, and the dreaded
chemistry. When I say dreaded chemistry, I mean I was taking CHM2045 at 7:25 am
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Aren’t I just the luckiest? Soon enough we had
our first exam and I studied as much chemistry as I could possibly take and I
still failed it. I decided to try to stick it out and do some more studying and
focus more of my attention on chemistry and even used the beloved Study Edge.
This time I walked into the second exam and thought I killed it. Nope, I got
another F. Coming from a straight A student from high school, who had never
ever gotten an F on anything, this was pretty hard for me to take. However, I
found out that failing and ultimately dropping chemistry was probably one of
the greatest learning experiences I’ve had.
As I said, I came to UF having no idea what I wanted to do because I was interested in way too much, but failing those two chemistry exams really showed me where my weaknesses and strengths lie. Obviously, chemistry was not a strength and maybe it could have been, but I realized that the class did not excite me and the path I would’ve had to take to major in engineering did not excite me either. Failing chemistry also humbled me and allowed me to get a grasp of just how hard college would be. Throughout the entirety of my life I had never felt the need to study too hard for any exam, but that first chemistry exam really showed me that I needed to fix my studying habits and learn how to study in a more effective manner. All in all, this failure that I experienced this semester had a lot more positive outcomes than negative ones and ultimately allowed me to figure out exactly what I was going to major in.
As I said, I came to UF having no idea what I wanted to do because I was interested in way too much, but failing those two chemistry exams really showed me where my weaknesses and strengths lie. Obviously, chemistry was not a strength and maybe it could have been, but I realized that the class did not excite me and the path I would’ve had to take to major in engineering did not excite me either. Failing chemistry also humbled me and allowed me to get a grasp of just how hard college would be. Throughout the entirety of my life I had never felt the need to study too hard for any exam, but that first chemistry exam really showed me that I needed to fix my studying habits and learn how to study in a more effective manner. All in all, this failure that I experienced this semester had a lot more positive outcomes than negative ones and ultimately allowed me to figure out exactly what I was going to major in.
Honestly,
I have a fear of failure. Maybe it was the way I was raised or just because it
is not the norm for me, but it’s a legitimate fear. However, I feel that just
in this semester I have been able to conquer this fear and not let this fear
control me and my daily life. I used to really beat myself up for failing and I
would let it eat me alive. This semester I learned to focus on the good that
comes out of feeling, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel good at the time. I
learned to really focus on what lessons failure brings and how to better myself
so I can try to prevent failure in the future. Based on this class and just the
personal growth I have experienced in the last couple months, I definitely feel
that I am more inclined to take a risk now because at the end of the day I know
even if I do lose, I still gain the knowledge, lessons, and the personal growth
that I will inevitably need for the future.
Haley, as a graduating senior, I cannot tell you how proud I am that you have this attitude after your first semester at UF. My experiences here were some of the most challenging times of my life, but I would not trade it for the world. By experiencing what you have experienced this semester and the lessons that you seem to have learned in the process, will take you very far and I promise you will find success. Often times the students that implode or just flat out quit, lose sight of the big picture and let their emotions get the best of them. Lean on your family and your friends and do not lose confidence in yourself because it is that confidence that got you here in the first place. Great work Haley and I wish you the very best from one Gator to another.
ReplyDeleteDear Haley,
ReplyDeleteThat is great that you learned this early on and now can be sure that chemistry is not the field you want to be in the future. It is also great that you are so introspective and know that you have a fear of failure but can now address that fear and take more risks in the future. Excited to see what you will do in the future!
Haley, I applaud you for admitting your failure and embracing it. You must of been so scared entering your first year of college and failing at something. I don't take failure very well but you seem to understand your mistakes and learn from them. I am almost thirty and I am still scared and still fail so keep your head up no matter how much you fail.
ReplyDelete